I wish I was a better liar.
Reflection on my own life shows that I've ruined many people.
Did I assist them in reaching their life goals? In a way, yes. But not without taking away some of the most special and amazing things they could ever have.
And for those of you who know me, and who know what and who I might be talking about... I'm sorry.
Counting people on Xanga and MySpace that I used to be friends with (or some semblance of the word)- I have horribly and irrevocably damaged. Have they gotten over it? I'm sure- most probably don't even remember me unless mentioned in conversation- which of course leaves one with a bitter taste in their mouth. Like sticking your tongue on the positive and negative currents of a 9 volt battery. And nearly as annoying as chewing on tin foil.
I'm getting married next year. We're expecting 100 people. After running through the guest list at least 40 times, we only have 60 people that would definitely come. My family, his family (that's about 40... maybe)... the other 20? Current friends of mine, including the bridal party.
I was a horrible and misguided friend. I was so selfish in my attempt to better others that I stunted their own growth in the areas they were pursuing. I didn't help others for their best (although I thought I was)... I helped others for my own personal satisfaction of knowing where and when I could place them when I needed them- and knowing that *I* pushed them in the right direction.
I was the gentle nudge in the right direction, then became the Devil's Advocate.
I'm sorry. | 
